Patriarchy isn’t only regressive for Women but also for Men

 

Patriarchy as described by Feminists is the power relationship between men and women, which basically refers to the male domination in our society both in public and private spaces. But it's important to question if this system of Patriarchy is only unjust to the gender minorities or even men are just reduced to a mechanical character of this toxic setup? The concept of masculinity that is the result of the patriarchal setup is not only creating a breed of insecure, aggressive and inhumane person, but is actually killing the human and creating ‘The Man’. The practice of blaming men to be responsible for the prevalence of patriarchy is the half truth, as there is a reason why in procreation the only job of men is to provide sperm, and women are the one who actually nurtures the new life in her womb. Every man is closest to his mother, not the father and the character of every man speak about the upbringing he has been subjected to. As men, we are told from an early age that real men don’t cry or show any emotion publically, as it’s a sign of weakness and MEN ARE NOT WEAK. Women, on the other hand, are burdened with carrying the Ijjat of their family. So basically men are supposed to be emotionless, and are supposed to protect the Ijjat of the family (women) whereas women are supposed to carry the burden of their family's Ijjat. The question here is to think about a situation where a man doesn’t have any women in his life, what happens to his training of being emotionless, the purpose of his life i.e. To protect the Ijjat of the family is not there, or if it's there even then being emotionless has already made him a mechanical being?

Now the mother who raised this emotionless, so-called Macho-Man, is worried about the aggressive and toxic behaviour of his son and comes up with a plan to arrange his wedding. In this plan, another woman who has been raised by the same set of principles is approached through her family, in a hope that she will rectify the toxic upbringing. But this is not the end of the plan, and now the ragging behaviour comes into play. The mother wants her son to be married, but she doesn't really want to share him with another woman, not even the woman he is marrying. She wants her daughter in-law to rectify her son’s toxic upbringing and will also make her daughter in-law’s life miserable because this is what happens between the wife and mother of a man, it in many ways is like ragging, will do it because we were subjected to it.  It’s evident even in cases of dowry, violence or anything and everything related to marital crime, there is a woman (the bride) who is being subjected to the said crime and then there is a woman/women who is involved in the process of inflicting the said crime over the new bride.

 

As per the rules of our society, while raising a child, be it a male or female child, men’s involvement is bare minimum, and it’s actually the women who practically raise their children, instal values (good or bad). So, here we need to rethink and question whether men can really uphold or abolish patriarchy, or whether it's women who can both construct or deconstruct societal norms. If we really want an equal and just society, install the next generation with values that it’s ok for men to show emotions, that they are not supposed to protect the Ijjat of the family, that women are not born to carry the burden of shouldering the Ijjat of their family or simply that women are not just some object or a piece of property called Ijjat, that needs a protector. We need mothers like Radha (Nargis Dutt) from the movie “Mother India”, who shot her own son for violating the ethos of her upbringing, not like the helpless mother who needs the protection of their son. The patriarchal society we all are living in will be prevalent, until the majority of women are raising a toxically bred breed of emotionless men, who are deprived of basic human emotion. They are taught to be less human and more of a MAN. It's important to educate the next generation of women about their importance, because it's actually the women who will be the mother and nurture the next generation. That’s how an equal and humane society can be achieved or else we can continue bashing each other and reach a dead end.

-Bibhuti Krishna